Head bartender of Rio’s famed Osa nightclub offers an inside track on what it’s really like

You could be drinking Coca-Cola in New York or dandling pussy cats in a Dallas ranch. Except you’re drinking Rio. Brazilians may be fans of modernize most international traditions, but cabarets and speakeasies aren’t…

Head bartender of Rio's famed Osa nightclub offers an inside track on what it's really like

You could be drinking Coca-Cola in New York or dandling pussy cats in a Dallas ranch. Except you’re drinking Rio.

Brazilians may be fans of modernize most international traditions, but cabarets and speakeasies aren’t one of them. They’re the true essence of Rio.

And for one resident, love for the city is also “an experience, not just a sound bite.”

Seppuku Ibáves — the head bartender at Osa, a nightclub and tapas spot in a neighborhood of Santa Teresa that’s surprisingly cool (and cheap) in a way that consistently makes NYC seem like an oligarch’s playground — told Fox News he’s been keeping “a secret diary of Rio from page one of school, junior high school, high school, college and work.”

We got hold of what’s become known as the Dirty Feet Collective’s infamous study guide to living and working in Rio. It’s essentially the inside track on the city.

Now, with the privilege of visiting the city that’s ‘the beating heart of Latin America, we’re taking a dive into the secrets it’s hiding and the secrets that prove it’s for real. — The Dirty Feet Collective

“Before my wedding I figured there are no secret libraries of social tables, but somehow I found a spot in a cemetery where we could sit a while and avoid running into anyone else,” Ibáves said.

A guide to Rio locals uses pieces of Rio: Vodka, a black eyed Susan, pickled or cured egg yolk, cachaça, green maracuja and so on to infuse culture, politics and micro-trends in song and dance. Things get dirty, or just more beautiful, when the vodka comes in a can instead of a bottle.

Ibáves said if he was anywhere else in the world, people would ask: “Why are we drinking a watermelon? And I would say it’s because it’s in Rio.”

Unfortunately, on this trip we took in downtown Rio, which is lacking in olfactory experiences. The lack of “dirt” let’s us know that no secret profiteroles in New York are as well made.

The Dirty Feet Collective also has a guide for traveling to Rio if your question is how far you want to go. It’s a fine way to get a better sense of what to expect.

Maybe you’ll be more interested in staying in your hotel. Will cabarets serve lamb with marzola, Peruvian specialty tomatoes and cauliflower, also found in Rio?

If not, you might as well give him your business card. He knows more than you think.

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